Having a Baby 101 - Note: Some Assembly Required

One of the hardest things about having a baby is all the assembly you have to do before the birth. It seems that every item that a baby needs is purchased in bits and needing to be put together by the parents. Possibly as training for when the baby arrives and starts tearing everything into bits - so it can be put back together by the parents.

So, tonight I set forth on an engineering feat of great complexity - putting together the stroller that we received as a present today.

I started out spending 5 minutes putting on the front wheel, only for it to fall off immediately. Then I looked closer and tried to get the little hooks that hold it in place to go on the inside of arms for about 5 more minutes, gave up, then tried it the outside of the arms and after another 5 minutes of fiddling around it worked.

I found a bar that goes across for the baby to hold and managed to get that to click in immediately, but spent 10 minutes trying to figure out which lever to pull to release it.

I got the back wheels on pretty quickly - which makes me think they'll fall off soon - and then I found the assembly instructions hidden away in the basket underneath the stroller!

While you might ordinarily think this is a help the parts listed in instructions bore no resemblance to the parts I had in front of me. But I did find four screws and a spanner in the bag with the instructions. Which was good because the footplate needed the screws to hold it in place! I even think I got three of them to go in straight.

Another 10 minutes later I found the pump to inflate the tires. But I'm still looking for the tube that goes from the pump to the valve on the tire. So the tires are pretty soft. I had a brainwave to use my bicycle pump, but that doesn't fit in between the spokes.

Anyway after an hours worth of struggle, I now have a three wheeled device that vaguely resembles the picture on the box. And when I took it outside and pushed it round it worked.

Next up: Assemble the cot.

More Bad News for Labour on Trans-Tasman Comparisons

It's well established that Australian wages are about 30% higher in Australia than New Zealand. But the counter argument frequently used is that living costs in Australia are higher.

And if you move to Sydney, that is correct - because of the high property prices. But move to any of the other major cities - Melbourne, Adelaide, Perth or Brisbane - and the cost of living is about the same.

Global company Mercer Human Resource Consulting has prepared a comparison of the Cost of Living for each city. It has used the cost of living in New York as it's base.

Sydney is the most expensive Australiasian city, at 73.7% of the cost of living at New York. Melbourne is second, at about 63%; then Auckland, at 62.4%; Wellington slightly cheaper at 61.5%; Brisbane at 59.1%; Adelaide at 58.6%; and finally Perth at 58.2%.

So if you are moving to Melbourne (which is a nicer city than Sydney) your living costs will be about the same, but a job with a similar skill level and seniority should pay significantly more.

Michael's Opinion on the Rugby

A wins a win - especially against a team that:

• thumped Wales a week earlier
• was playing an All Black team that was a new combination - essentially a trial team
• has a history of being very difficult to beat at home.

And to put things in perspective, Australia fielded a full strength team against a full strength Ireland and beat them by 20 points. New Zealand fields a second string team and against a full strength Ireland and beats them by 10 points.

However, I rate this new Australia team highly - the new coach is getting good performances out of the team and they seem to be a good blend of young talent and experienced hands. They will be difficult to beat twice, let alone three times. And playing South Africa twice in the Republic is never easy.

Just like the past few years, it looks like a tight Tri-Nations - I can't wait.

In case you didn't know ...

Thanks to my Dad blabbing to the whole family, most of you probably already know. But for the handful of you who don't, Chaucey is pregnant.

The Doctor and Midwife calculated 31st December as the due date, Chaucey had a computer programme that calculated 2nd January. I'm splitting the difference and saying 1st January.

Rugby Referees

Ten years ago, after a few season of being trampled on by some big forwards from Horowhenua I decided to take up refereeing. I found it fun and rewarding at schoolboy level but dreaded adult games - especially lower grade and Presidents Grade. Players at that level had trouble with aggression and a lack of technique that often made things tricky. One protection that referees had was the knowledge that any assault from an adult player would result in a life ban.

So, I am disappointed to see a player who grabbed and manhandled a ref when he was sent off is getting only an 18-month ban.

But if Rugby Unions aren't going to back up referees when they get attacked by players then it will be even harder to recruit new refs. Especially as after a year or so of abusive comments from the sidelines they lose half their recruits.

Anti-Whaling Nations Black Pot

Much is being made by our PM about Japan's enlisting of nations to help it win votes in the International Whaling Commission.

But, did you know that six anti-whaling nations - Switzerland, Hungary, Austria, Czech Republic, Slovak Republic and Luxembourg - are all landlocked? What interest have these nations in the Whaling industry?

New Progessive Party Health Policy - Eradicate Native Birds to Prevent Bird Flu?

Former Progressive Party MP Matt Robson has put out a newsletter via the Progressive Party that states:

"I read that a Labour MP was threatening to quit and force taxpayers to pay for a by-election because she was upset a potential bird-flu incubator project in her electorate had not been successful in winning taxpayer-funding in a recent competitive bidding tender process."

So, is the Progressive Party advocating the slaughter of every Kiwi, Tui, Weka, Kakapo and Takahe to prevent any possible bird-flu outbreak?

Wage Restraint

Michael Cullen is calling for wage restraint to keep the lid on inflation. Based on some feedback I've been sent after a recent PSA pre-negotitation meeting, PSA members have been told to expect modest wage rises.

So, with apologies to Mastercard:

Public Sector Unions helping Labour get re-elected - millions.

The workers getting shafted by Public Sector Unions - priceless.

Five Miles Worth of Council Madness

Almost everybody agrees Dave 'Hendo' Henderson is a hero. (Except Michael Cullen - you have to scroll down almost to the end of his speech to find the outrageous lies he told about him.) When the IRD decided to rewrite it's rules to claim he owed them $1 Million - when in fact they owed him about $60,000 - he didn't lie down and fought for years to prove he was right. Having read his story I am in awe of his guts, patience and sheer bloody-mindedness in standing up to the huge resources the IRD threw against him.

The Property Developer is now creating a new subdivision at Frankton near Queenstown (Five Mile) with the aim of providing affordable housing in the unafforable Queenstown area. To promote the development he lodged a resource consent to have signs displayed on his property near the adjacent State Highway.

Now, after waiting six months for the Queenstown Lakes council and Transit to agree on what size sign he is allowed to put up for the development - he decided to take matters into his own hands and mow the paddock so a website address is visible to those who fly over or drive on the access road to the Remarkables ski area.

You might that this is hard for council to approve a sign - the rules might be unclear or difficult to find. But they could always refer to a Transit New Zealand pamphlet outlining the rules called "Advertising Signs on State Highways". I can't find the brouchure online but a Google Search confirms it's existence.

So if I was the Council Officer involved, I'd be embarassed - especially after Queenstown Lakes Mayor Clive Geddes had praised the development in December. He said he is fully behind the new township, which he expects will add "something quite special" to the Central Lakes Region.

Dave Henderson may very well be breaking the law and be risking prosecution and a fine. But why is it Council Officers can prevaricate for so long over some rules without any sanction?

Sit up nd Take Notice: Three - Nil

Okay, the United States have a poor record against European Teams in Europe, but Three - Nil to the Czech Republic looks very promising. A good score against Ghana will probably mean a draw with Italy will be all that is required to win Group E.

Last week, I put my money where my mouth is. I went to the TAB and put:

$5 on Czech Republic being knocked out in the Semis at odds of $9 ($45 return)
$5 on Czech Republic losing final at odds of $18 ($90 return)
$10 on Czech Republic winning the world cup at odds of $25 ($250 return)

I see now that the odds have moved in to $20 to win the cup.

Can you judge someones character from looking at them?

Take a look at a picture, then guess whether they are famous computer geek or a famous serial killer. Go with your gut feeling and see how many you can guess right.

http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/

Those who do poorly at this quiz should not consider careers in the Police or Recruitment.

Eastern Hutt Roading

As a resident living on Waiwhetu Road, I regard the hit and run accident that killed a pedestrian on Cambridge Terrace as inevitable. Neglect in building a needed new route has meant Cambridge Terrace and Waiwhetu Road have been allowed to become major arterial routes between Gracefield, Eastbourne, Wainuiomata and Eastern Hutt and the Kapiti Coast, Upper Hutt and further beyond. The problem is that there is no easy route to get across the Hutt River south of the Kennedy-Good Bridge.

A major contibuting problem is Cambridge Terrace and Waiwhetu Road are both residential streets, not arterial routes. Waiwhetu Road also has schools, shops and churches to contend with while Cambridge Terrace has three Railway Stations (two with large carparks). All the time, local residents using the roads want to turn onto side roads and driveways. Mix this with traffic typically flowing at well above the 50km/h limit and you have a situation bound to lead to accidents.

There is a proposed new road called the 'Cross Valley Link' designed to link State Highway 2 directly to Gracefield with a new bridge over the Hutt River and Railway line. The new road would remove much traffic from Waiwhetu Road and Cambridge Terrace, limiting use only to those on journies to or from Eastern Hutt.

The first part of the Cross Valley Link is a new interchange on SH2 north of Petone. About a year ago Local (Labour) MP Trevor Mallard announced that construction on the interchange would begin before the end of 2005. To date no work has begun and Transit are saying it will be 2008 before it does.

The Hutt City Council needs to tell Transit to begin work on the interchange and commit it's share to the new Cross Valley road. Or else there will be more tragedies like Saturday mornings.

Dancing with the Stars - Bye, Bye, Rodney

So Rodney is (finally) out. Lifting Crystal was a high-risk move and dropping her was always a possibility, but it was the type of risk he had to take. Having dropped a dance partner once (nowhere near as bad) you can never feel good about it afterwards.

The fact that Beatrice and Brian were not in the bottom two convinces me that they are going to win.

Centrebet Odds are not yet available for this week, will post them when I see them.

The UN Criticises the US Media for Criticising the UN

Missed in the rush of Iraqi and US Forces killing Zarqawi was a piece of claptrap from the United Nations Number 2 Official Mark Malloch Brown. Brown accused 'Middle America' of being shielded from the UN's good work by biased American media which highlight only it's failings. In effect, he is calling for American Media to be regulated so that his point of view of the UN has to be presented.

Now, I'm not stupid enough to think that FOX News and Rush Limbaugh are nuetral on the topic of the UN, but there are many other media outlets and commentators in the US who do push a view in favour of the more internationalist approach.

And rather than Mark Malloch Brown's defending the UN he should consider why there is so much critism of the UN. For years it has been dysfunctional, unable to take any action against rogue states who have powerful allies like Russia, China or the United States to veto any action.

The UN needs to be reformed to ensure problems don't end up with eternal stalemates like they did over Iraq and Kosovo - perhaps Mark Malloch Brown should listen to the critics of his organisation and consider they may have a valid view.

GDP - The Real Figures

Recently, Jordan at Just Left posted GDP figures up to 1998, showing that the 1980's and 1990's reforms were a failure at catching up on Australian incomes.

David Farrer of Kiwiblog then published figures showing that since Labour had gained office in 1999, Australia had streaked ahead.

Courtesy of the BNZ Economics Weekly Overview - here are two graphs. (You can download the Weekly Overview for free each week at the BNZ Website.) The first shows GDP Growth in US Dollars.



The second graph shows the net difference in GDP Growth between New Zealand and Australia each year.

Michael's World Cup Predictions

Group A: Germany (FIFA World Ranking 19); Costa Rica (26); Poland (29); Ecuador (39).
The closest group with only 20 World Ranking places between the top and bottom ranked teams. Germany with the home advantage should top the group, Poland to be second.

Group B: England (10); Sweden (16); Paraguay (33); Trinidad (47).
Easy to pick the top two in this group, but will the Poms beat the Swedes? I think so. Is the big question will be how long it takes for the Barmy Army to be involved in a soccer riot.

Group C: Netherlands (3); Argentina (9); Ivory Coast (32); Serbia and Montenegro (44).
The last outing for a combined Serbia-Montenegro before they split on 13 July. But the Dutch and the Argentines should top the group easily, in that order.

Group D: Mexico (4); Portugal (7); Iran (23); Angola (57).
This groups should come down to the number of goals Mexico and Portugal put past the Iranians and Angolans. Expect the Portugese to be top of this pool on that basis.

Group E: Czech Republic (2); USA (5=); Italy (13); Ghana (48).
Surprise your friends with the revelation that the USA are ranked 5th in the world and the Czechs are number 2. All the pre-tournament speculation focuses on Brazil, France and Germany but these two teams will be fighting to top the group as the road to the semis will be easy for the winner. I think the Czechs will top this group, and for Italian pride to sneak past the Americans. But coming second means facing the Brazilians in the second round.

Group F: Brazil (1); Japan (18); Croatia (23); Australia (42).
Does anyone expect Brazil to come second in this group? Will the Japanese hold off the Croatians? Will the Aussies get a win? No, on all counts.

Group G: France (8); South Korea (29); Switzerland (35); Togo (61).
Easy to pick the winner of this group. Leaning towards the Swiss to get second place. If Togo lose by less than three goals each game it will be the biggest surprise of the tournament.

Group H: Spain (5=); Ukraine (12); Tunisia (21); Saudia Arabia (34).
First and Second are easy to pick here, same as the world rankings.

According to my predictions, the second round will be:

Germany vs Sweden
Netherlands vs Mexico
England vs Poland
Argentina vs Portugal
Czech Rep. vs Croatia
France vs Ukraine
Brazil vs Italy
Spain vs Switzerland

My Quarter Finalists:
Germany vs Mexico
Czech Rep. vs France
England vs Portugal
Brazil vs Spain

My Semi-Finals:
Mexico vs Czech Rep.
England vs Brazil

Finalists:
Brazil vs Czech Republic

Winners - Czech Republic

Dancing With The Stars - Week 5

A game of two halves for Rodney - his Viennese Waltz was as good as any of the others, but his Samba was not very good. At least it was an improvement on the tango from the week earlier.

No surprise to see Angela Bloomfield eliminated, as Rodney would again be first or second in the public vote so Angela would have at least needed to be third to eliminate Rodney. However, with only four couples left I pick Danyon Loader to be in the bottom two next week with Rodney - unless he can out-dance Beatrice and Lorraine to first place with the Judges.

Centrebet Australia Odds:

Dancer	Last Week	This Week
Lorraine Downes	$3.00	$2.40
Beatrice Faumuina	$1.90	$2.50
Danyon Loader	$9.00	$5.50
Rodney Hide	$12.00	$7.00

Lorraine Downes has done well to be favourite as Centrebet originally had her at least favourite at $21.

Police Officers

When I was a child, I was brought up to respect Police Officers. I remember they used to come to school and teach us about "stranger danger" and the three key things every cop will carry.

So when I see Police handing out traffic infringement tickets where the offenders' occupation is described as "Wanker", "Arsehole", or "Whore" my respect is not diminished. In every case, the recipient has owned up to being mouthy with the officer - misdirected their anger at being caught breaking the traffic laws.

Perhaps if they'd been respectful to the officer and angry at themselves the occupation might have been recorded correctly.

Campaign Against the Foreign Control of Aotearoa

Australian-born Russell Norman has been elected male Co-leader of The Green Party of Aotearoa/New Zealand.

Interestingly, the late Male Co-Leader Rod Donald said the Greens want a "New Zealand for New Zealanders".

So the Greens are only Part-Time Xenophobes, it seems.

Get with it, Winston!

If a moment of insanity should come over you and you decide to go to the NZ First website, you will notice the lead item on the homepage is "Patriots - Calling All Kiwis" (with the obligatory photo of Winston).

Click on the header to learn more, and you find that it's a call to all ex-pat Kiwis to vote in the 2005 election.

Think Big II

Thirty years ago, Prime Minister Robert Muldoon went on a crusade to transform the New Zealand Economy from a Primary Industry Based nation to create a Industrial Base. Along the way, the Government ran up huge debts.

Now, the Government is stepping down the same path. Only this time, rather than taxpayers directly funding white elephant projects like the New Zealand Steel plant in South Auckland and the Natural Gas to Petrol Plant in Taranaki, we'll be getting the state-owned companies to take on the debt.

It should be remembered that not one of the Think Big Projects returned anything to taxpayers as a whole, apart from a huge debt burden. It's taken twenty years for that burden to be paid off.

A more recent example in a SOE trying to expand is NZ Post's farcical attempts to establish a consultancy service in Malta and South Africa. And now it's set up a Bank that is not making any economic return to the shareholders.

We should be thankful that Sir Roger Douglas and Ruth Richardson sold all the other state owned companies - this time there will be less of a mess.

Top Ten Things I'm Look Forward Too on Holiday

Just over three months to I go back to Europe for a trip through Austria, Slovakia, Hungary, Romania, Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina and Serbia. The top ten things I want to do see and do are:

10. The Third Man Tour, Vienna.
Lord of the Rings Tours? Pathetic! Here's a tour celebrating a movie made in 1949 in which Orsen Welles gives the greatest line in Cinema - "In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. So long Holly."

9. Budapest
Supposedly similar Prague - hopefully that means great architecture, cobbled lanes, lots of surprises around every bend. The pictures of the houses of Parliament and the Buda Castle look wonderful.

8. Driving on the Right Side of the road.
What out Hungary and Romania - here comes a kiwi armed with only a International Drivers Permit and an instinct to keep left. Say 100 times, 'tight to the right, loose to the left.'

7. Piran.
All those movies showing Mediterrainian villages have given me an expectation - apparently Piran in Slovenia lives up to it.

6. Trivia, Trams and Undergrounds.
When on holiday, it's often the little things that take your interest. For instance, I'm planning on catching a ferry from Vienna in Austria to Bratislava in Slovakia. But both countries are landlocked! I think coolest form of public transport are trams. And I like Undergrounds - did you know that Budapest has the oldest underground system in Europe.

5. Timisoara.
On 16 December 1989, the Romanian Secret Police tried to arrest and deport radical Hungarian Pastor Laszlo Tokes from his parish in Timisoara. The local populace provided a human barrier preventing his arrest. The protests snowballed until the Communist Government fell on the 22nd December and Dictator Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife Elena were executed on Christmas Day.

4. Dracula's Footsteps.
The 'real' Dracula, Vlad Tepes (or Vlad the Impaler) was born in the Romanian Town of Sighisoara and his headless body is buried north of Bucharest. His castle in Bran is reportedly stunning.

3. Parliament in Bucharest
Only the US Defence Headquarters building, the Pentagon, is larger than the Romanian Parliament. It's so large it has maps of the building included in the floor mosaics to help you find your way around.

2. Mostar and Medjugorje.
I was told about Medjugorje by a Catholic Preist about ten years ago - it looks as though the town is now over run with tourists, but I might be able to make my mind up about the claimed visions of the Virgin Mary if I actually go. Medjugorje is near the city of Mostar, scene one of the bloodiest sieges in the Balkan War.

1. Sarajevo.
More famous today for the death and destruction during the Balkan War in the 1990s, it is also the city where the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferninand snowballed into 'The Great War', which in turn caused the rise of Facism in Europe, the Second World War, the Cold War, the fall of the Berlin Wall, ...

If anyone else has been through these places, I'm keen to hear what you think and any other suggestions. (Yes, I'm going to Dubrovnik - but I'm afraid that will be too touristy.)